We're All In this ToGether

I can’t begin to express how grateful I am to be a part of the military spouse community. Seriously, it’s the main reason I haven’t lost my mind. Everyone, and I really mean everyone, I met in my journey to military spousedom and beyond have been A-MAZING and helpful — whether I’ve met them on or offline. Not only that, they have given me (and continue to give me) a generous amount of support. I wouldn’t be where I am now without the people that I’ve met and they have also given me the drive and motivation to empower others that might end up in my shoes!

Then, I got punched in the gut (actually multiple blows) from complete strangers on something I wrote out in the blogosphere. My words were blown out of proportion to the point where people were getting downright mean (it gives me chills to even think about it).

We’re all entitled to our own opinion and this post isn’t intended to rant or rave about the comments I received, but to make aware of the bullying out there. There really is a big difference in criticism and a full-on judgmental brawl. Please don’t get me wrong though. I don’t have any ill feelings to the people that commented negatively — honestly, I’m just hurt. I’m hurt that other people that have never met me or been near me translated my words in such a way that they felt compelled to attack. I’d be lying to say that I don’t care. I do.

I realize that I shouldn’t take it to heart and instead, learn from it. That’s what I’m doing. I’m learning and growing from the experience. Plus, I don’t know how it’s like for them. I don’t want to pass judgement myself. 

As military spouses, we are all different and unique. That’s what makes us special. Despite all our differences, there is a very important point — we’re all in this together. Also, as a new military spouse, I truly look up to anybody and respect everything that veteran spouses have been through. I caught a glimpse of it with my mother, who was by the side of my father for 22 years of military service. I have the utmost respect. 

So, in an effort to clear the air and take a deep breath from the punches to the gut, I wanted to talk about how I felt. Not continue the negativity, but to validate that the military spouse community IS a supportive and strong network of men and women. This blog helped me get through a yearlong separation and continues to help me get through anything else that comes my way. In addition, I have all of you to thank (yes, you, the person reading!) for keeping me on track and being an online friend. 

Another reason I felt compelled to write this is that I came across an awesome group of military spouses that were also motivated to “stop the shamming.” That really gave me the push to share. 

Even with this slight damper in my spirit, I know that the military spouse community is still amazing and really hope that all the wonderful people that have touched my life 

 Thanks for the support y’all!

Please check out more posts from other awesome milspouse bloggers below!




  1. I have learned throughout my journey as a military spouse that you really have to hang on to the good people in this life.

    • Rachel Reply

      Thank you Jen! And there are a lot of good and I’m happy to be interacting with them. 🙂

    • Rachel Reply

      Thanks Lisa! It really means a lot for you to say that. You’ve been so great and I’m lucky to have met you!

  2. You are so right! “…as a new military spouse, I truly look up to anybody and respect everything that veteran spouses have been through…” As we learn to navigate these waters it’s nice to have someone who’s been there, done that to look up to and inspire us! Hold on to the good people that you stumble across on the way and let go of the rest!

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